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November 03, 2023 02:18
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Dedication
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2.5%
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#FFB
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To Walker, Aryan, and Leah
Here’s to new beginnings!
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November 03, 2023 01:05
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27. My Dying Words Are Super Embarrassing
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77.8%
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#FFB
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In a moment of crisis, he’d had a dream that he was an old man, married to his girlfriend, Piper, with a bunch of grandchildren running around. He hadn’t taken the dream as an iron-clad glimpse of the future. When it comes to mortal lives, the Fates never hand out money-back guarantees. But he told me that wasn’t the point. When he’d needed it most, that vision had made him feel like there was a way forward—something to live for and fight for.
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You suck
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November 03, 2023 01:01
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25. I Meet the Goblet Ganker
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73.3%
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#FFB
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Sometimes when I’m in imminent danger of death, my Mickey Mouse voice comes out.
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November 02, 2023 22:24
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24. I Brush My Teeth (in the Most Heroic Way Possible)
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68.5%
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#FFB
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She flashed me a smile. “I’m impressed you can quote Shakespeare.”
“I can quote SparkNotes.”
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November 02, 2023 22:20
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22. I Get a Cupcake and a Surprise
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63.5%
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#FFB
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“Like . . . you and Paul.”
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Oh so is this before Trials of Apollo?
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November 02, 2023 22:20
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22. I Get a Cupcake and a Surprise
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63.5%
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#FFB
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Nothing’s wrong. I’m pregnant.”
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November 02, 2023 22:10
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19. I Taste the Rainbow and It’s Pretty Nasty
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53.9%
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#FFB
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Because when somebody plays “YMCA,” it is almost always a cry for help.
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November 02, 2023 22:03
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17. I Meet the Man Bun of Doom
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48.3%
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#FFB
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Find someone who loves you the way my girlfriend pushes me off a cliff.
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November 02, 2023 21:15
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16. Grover Busts Out the Snake Songs
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46.9%
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#FFB
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Five years ago, that pair of cursed shoes had almost dragged Grover into Tartarus. Trauma like that can leave a scar.
|
It’s only been five years????
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November 02, 2023 14:09
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10. My Singing Makes Things Worse, and Everyone Is Totally Shocked
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29.8%
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#FFB
|
“I am ninety percent of the sorry!” I agreed. “Please forgive us!”
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November 02, 2023 14:08
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10. My Singing Makes Things Worse, and Everyone Is Totally Shocked
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29.5%
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#FFB
|
This is how you know you’ve found true love: when your significant other is just as bad at singing as you are.
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November 02, 2023 14:07
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10. My Singing Makes Things Worse, and Everyone Is Totally Shocked
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29.2%
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#FFB
|
“Me? That was all of us!”
“Ninety percent you.”
“Only ninety percent, though. I’m improving!”
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November 02, 2023 14:03
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8. I Want My Mommy
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25.0%
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#FFB
|
“You mean my sword has a childproof cap?”
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November 02, 2023 12:30
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7. Big Shocker: I Offend a Goddess
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20.8%
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#FFB
|
The last thing the world needed was boomers aging backward, like, We enjoyed monopolizing the planet so much the first time, we’re going to do it again!
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November 02, 2023 01:23
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6. Because Licorice
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18.8%
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#FFB
|
I am a guy of limited talents. If I can’t kill it with water, a sword, or sarcasm, I am basically defenseless. I come preloaded with sarcasm. The pen-sword is always in my pocket. Now I had access to water, so I was as prepared as I could ever be.
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November 02, 2023 01:21
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6. Because Licorice
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17.1%
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#FFB
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“I’m getting strong Lotus Casino vibes in here . . . like low-rent Lotus Casino, but still . . .”
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My thoughts exactly
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November 02, 2023 01:18
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5. Everybody Hates Ganymede Because He’s So Pretty
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14.3%
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#FFB
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My second thought was: Why do the gods keep losing their magic items? It was like a job requirement for them: 1) become a god, 2) get a cool magic thing, 3) lose it, 4) ask a demigod to find it. Maybe they just enjoyed doing it, the way cats like knocking things off tables.
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November 02, 2023 01:18
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4. I Take a Himbo for Smoothies
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13.5%
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#FFB
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“My cup has been stolen.”
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November 02, 2023 01:16
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4. I Take a Himbo for Smoothies
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12.1%
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#FFB
|
I even put on clothes.”
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November 02, 2023 01:15
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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11.2%
|
#FFB
|
A chance to do quests, just the three of us? Like old times? The Three Musketeers!”
“The Powerpuff Girls,” Annabeth suggested.
“Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey,” I said.
“Wait a minute,” Grover said.
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November 02, 2023 01:14
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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10.7%
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#FFB
|
I remember each meal my friends and I shared in the galley on board the Argo II—even if we were mostly just chowing down on junk food between life-and-death battles.
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Why am I gonna cry already
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November 02, 2023 01:13
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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9.6%
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#FFB
|
Ever since last spring, when Paul had tutored Annabeth in some impossible English project, the two of them had bonded over Shakespeare, of all things, so half the time when they talked to each other, they sounded like they were acting out scenes from Macbeth.
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This is so sweet
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November 02, 2023 01:11
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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9.0%
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#FFB
|
We were both ADHD, but I could’ve stayed like that for hours, perfectly content, appreciating the way the afternoon sunlight glinted in Annabeth’s hair, or the way her pulse aligned with mine when we held hands.
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Gosh darn it I’m gonna be lonely again
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November 02, 2023 01:11
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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9.0%
|
#FFB
|
replace, or should ever want to
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November 02, 2023 01:11
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3. We Complain about Quests and Decorative Gourds
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8.7%
|
#FFB
|
Occasionally, somebody would ask me if I’d ever dated anybody besides Annabeth, or if I’d ever thought about dating someone else. Honestly? The answer was no. When you’ve helped each other through Tartarus, the deepest and most horrifying place in the universe, and you’ve come out alive and stronger than you were to begin with . . . well, that isn’t a relationship you could ever
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Okay simp
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November 01, 2023 21:43
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1. I Get Flushed
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4.8%
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#FFB
|
“Ugh. I have to do new quests, don’t I?”
“Well, dear, the college admissions process is always challenging, but I’m here to help—”
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Jealous that my college admissions weren’t like this
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November 01, 2023 21:40
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1. I Get Flushed
|
2.8%
|
#FFB
|
Look, I didn’t want to be a high school senior.
|
Honestly me either
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